It's weird

how sometimes you're making popcorn and you think about how much your brother used to like popcorn and you can picture him sitting in your parents' house eating popcorn and how getting him the microwave popcorn thingy that you bought a few months ago would be the perfect Christmas gift for him (if you gave your siblings gifts for Christmas), but you can't get him gifts anymore because he's not around anymore.

It's a real bummer.

I'm picky

That's all there is to it.

I've got a schtick

That's all there is to it.

"Noise music" is only awesome when babies create it.

That's all there is to it.

I Have Vivid Dreams

I have really vivid, full color dreams most nights. I remember them too and I sometimes want to share them with people if I think they're pretty cool. Most people don't like hearing about your dreams, so I often don't tell people about my cool dreams because I don't want them to think I'm totally lame. Blogs are a good outlet for telling people your dreams without forcing them to listen to you ramble on about your lame-o dream and how you think you're real funny or profound or some crap. Feel free to disregard this post, if you're not the type of person who likes to read about people's dreams. Also, feel free not to analyze it too much because I'm sure it doesn't mean anything, I just like having a little section of the universe that will help me remember my dreams.

Here's my last vivid dream that I wanted to share. It happened the night before I was going to drive back from Chicago to St. Louis. This is an accounting of what I remember.

I was driving along 55 in rural Illinois. For some reason, I was driving on the left side of the road like they do in Europe. It was getting dark and was a bit thunderstormy, but not raining. As I was driving, a car came by and merged into my lane, sideswiping me and making me spin out onto oncoming traffic across the median. I spun around about ten times, then regained control and had to drive for a little bit on the other side of the road to slow down. As I was doing that, a cop pulled me over. I went up onto an off ramp and the cop cited me for driving on the wrong side of the road. I was really upset by this because I remembered that I just got all of the points from my license removed and it totally wasn't my fault that I was on the wrong side of the road. It started raining and I started crying, which is what I'm apt to do in stressful situations. I explained the whole story to the cop, getting more and more hysterical as I went on. The cop seemed sympathetic and went back to his police car for a few minutes. He came back while it was pouring rain and handed me a little token that said "National Spelling Bee Champion" and told me to sign it. He told me that so long as I had the token stating I was at one time the National Spelling Bee champion, I could used it to get out of the ticket. He took the token with him after I signed it and let me go on about my business.

Then I woke up.

The Dude Theory

The Dude Theory states that if a man is interested in a woman, he will not call her dude. If a man does refer to the woman as "dude," then regardless of anything else that is happening between the parties involved, they are in a friend relationship.* This theory has always held true in my experience.

This specifically pertains to the earliest stages of a relationship. After many months or years of familiarity, the man in question may start to refer to his girlfriend as dude. That would be a sure sign that the thrill is gone. If that happened to me, it would make me sigh and feel sad.

*Friends sometimes bone, so don't get confused or like all wrapped up in emotions.

Thank you, Dremel

You've been so kind to me these last few months. Whether it was helping me shave down that extra sharp part of my door or finally allowing me to trim down my dogs nails, I have to say, you've really been there for me, man. Thanks a million.